Cancun and My Introduction to the Yucatan Peninsula.

So I left Rancho and flew out of the Tijuana airport into the Caribbean resort megaplex that is Cancun.  After a month of bucket baths and porta-potties I decided to splurge on myself and booked 3 nights at the all-inclusive Omni-Cancun (and spent about what I'd expect to pay at a Holiday Inn in California).

The experience was everything I'd hoped it'd be.  That is to say, it was boring as fuck.  It probably didn't help that we're in the middle of Hurricane Season here in the Yukatan so it was raining the whole time.  I honestly can't remember what I did for the first two days except spend a lot of time in the shower and sitting in my room on the internet with the AC on full blast.  I also managed to stuff my face with mediocre buffet food and drink way too little free alcohol (yes, too little.  I had like 4 drinks during my entire stay).  I even paid homage to the gym a few times in a vain attempt to prolong exercise trend I had started my last week at Rancho.

One thing that caught my eye was the iguanas roaming the  beach-lined terrace like stray cats.  Well, like really lazy and sluggish cats.  I mistook the first one I saw for an oddly placed sculpture.  I was staring at it trying to decide if I wanted to touch it when I overheard some passing guests talking about it "Still being there".  I didn't have the balls to actually touch it, but I snapped a few photos of a bigger one hanging out in the bushes when I was checking out of the hotel.

He's daring me to touch him

The second night of my stay at Omni I opted to get a test for Cancun's infamous club scene.  I had declined a drunken invitation from the night prior because the $50 entrance fee seemed rather steep and I'm honestly just not the spontaneous kind of person who decides to go clubbing given a 10 minute notice.  However after doing some research I learned that the hotel arranges the transportation to the club, lends you an activity coordinator (party guide) to show you the ropes and the $50 fee includes an all-you-can drink open bar.

The particular night I was going was Señor Frogs Glow Party.  Having no clue what I was getting into, I donned the single snazzy outfit I had packed.  The second we walked into the club we were covered in neon paint.  By the end of the night I was swimming in what I later learned was the fucking lagoon.

There was only one other guest from the hotel that came to the club (hurricane season I guess).  She was from Sacramento and confessed this was her 5th time in Cancun this year.  Apparently her parents had invested in the hotel and she was able to stay for free.  She was shooting me all kinds of signals, but she was a bigger chick and I was out to play my hand.

We were given a table (no chairs) near the dance floor on which was placed bottles and bottles of alcohol.  I swear if we drank it all someone would be going to the hospital.  I stuck to Vodka.  In fact I have drunk nothing except vodka since I arrived in Mexico.  I love Mexican food more than life, but I can't stomach tequila or shitty Mexican beer (interestingly, they don't drink Corona down here).

The night is pretty hazy, but I'll note some of the details I can remember.  There were lights everywhere, a dj on stage, a crowded dance floor, tables in the back for sitting, and a water slide that feel into the lagoon.  All in all it was hopping (or whatever the kids say these days). After getting myself well drunk,  I picked out a pair of girls sitting against the wall that appeared attractive but reasonably within my league.  They weren't with anyone and seemed to be looking for a reasonable excuse to join in the fun.  After probably an hour of creeping, I finally got drunk enough to make my move.

I walked up, gave one of them a painfully feigned aloof look and relinquished the clever remark I had been preparing all night.  I think it was something like "You're cute".   From the stares I received, I thought they hadn't heard me over the music, but then she gave a reply Spanish and I was so upset with myself for neglecting to factor language barrier into my calculations that I nearly suffered a nervous break-down on the spot.

I doubled down on the Vodka back at the table until I found myself sitting at another table with a group of
backpackers from a hostel in town and some dude from the hotel across the street from mine.  The next thing I remember I'm in the lagoon with an Israeli girl wrapped around me and we're macking on each other The Notebook style, which is a-whole-nother level of gross when you consider how disgusting that fucking lagoon must have been.

Hanging out at Ka Beh

Entrance to Ka Beh

The next day I checked out Ka Beh hostel where my new Isreali friend was staying and booked a night.  She wanted me to go with her to Tulum but I already had plans to meet some girls from Mérida in Playa del Carmen for Independence Day weekend.  The staff at Ka´Beh were really rad, kept giving us alcohol and tried to get us to go out and party more.  Most of them were actually travelers just working short-time until they had enough money to reach their next destination. Needless to say my last night at Omni-Cancun went unused.

Also, the food here is fucking fantastic.